Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmas.



For the last 11 months I have been counting down the days of 2010 and praying the year would end quickly. I've had a terrible attitude about the upcoming holidays and truly wished this last one, painful month of 2010 would be over and I could have a new start and a better outlook for 2011.


In the last few weeks, all of that has changed.


I'm not sure what I've done to be worthy or deserving of the overwhelming acts of kindness, generosity and love that have been displayed toward Jack and I, and the outpouring of friendship that I have felt. All I do know is that the Spirit of Christmas is alive and burning in my heart and soul, and that the love of our Heavenly Father has me humbled beyond description.


The entire month of December has brought us one enormous blessing after another; the Heavens have truly been opened upon us, prayers have been answered and I have been brought to joyful tears on a daily basis.


I don't want this month to EVER end. (Or the year, for that matter.)


Even though at innumerable times throughout the year I thought that I simply could not survive one more day, I somehow managed to get through each day and felt the Comforter urging me on. My testimony and knowledge of His love for us were strengthened each time I felt His loving arms enfold me and remind me to have faith that things will be okay.


While I never in my wildest dreams could've predicated the trials and challenges that we've been faced with this year, I am grateful for the opportunity I've had to learn and grow and truly understand His plan for us.


I hope you've all managed to feel the Christmas Spirit like we have this holiday season. I'm so grateful for the birth of the Savior, and the opportunity this time of year gives us to reflect on His life, our own lives, and to reach out and serve others.


Merry Christmas!


Love, The Johnsons


December Festivities

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Famous One-Liners.

Yesterday, Jack's daycare teacher recited this great one-liner to me that Jack exclaimed earlier in the day:
"My dad's not a grown-up, he's just old."



Saturday, November 20, 2010

I. Have. Sinned.

I cheated on Black Friday.

THERE!! I said it.

I didn't mean to. It just happened. I was lonely.

Jack was gone and I thought it would be a good idea to scout out some Christmas presents without him. Then it happened, and before I knew it I had a cart full of goodies, NOT EVEN AT SALE PRICE!!! Isn't that just how it is? We think we're getting something good at the time, when the real prize was right there all along. Black Friday and those AMAZING deals are my real prize. Time to refocus all my efforts and wait patiently for Thanksgiving morning when the sweet aroma of turkey and freshly printed newspaper ads fill the house.

Ahhh, Black Friday!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

There are countless moments in a mother's life when her child's behavior and accomplishments make her heart swell with pride.
Unfortunately for me, this is NOT one of them.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others.

What a surprise that my child won't cooperate for a picture.
Over.....

And Over....

And Over.......


...Clearly A Theme Is Developing.....



Until One Rare Moment......

Or Two.....When The Stars Align.....
And someone holds onto him and keeps him from moving....

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How To Lose A Guy In One Date.

Dating once you're divorced is somewhat different than back in the pre-marriage days.
Since I recently went on a date, and know a few other people in my position (old and single), I thought I'd offer some advice.
Its a dating-how-to, if you will. So in attempt to pay homage to my college roommates' and my FAVORITE movie, here are some pitfalls to avoid:

1. Don't assume he is African American, simply based on a facebook profile picture.

2. Don't let him know you were slightly disappointed that he was Caucasian.

3. Don't pick out a cute outfit to wear on the first date, only to have him call for an impromptu "pre-date", then end up wearing the same boots 2 dates in a row.

4. Don't give courtesy laughs at his jokes. He will surely call you out on it.

5. Don't neglect to tell him you have Bronchitis.

6. Don't cough on him the ENTIRE date.

7. Don't tell him you may have peed your pants a tiny bit when the chainsaw man cut off your legs at the haunted house.

8. Don't tell him the whole reason you didn't want to go to said attraction is that you had a
haunting suspicion you would probably pee your pants a tiny bit when chainsaw man cut off
your legs.

********haunting suspicion....haunted house....ha ha ha...*******
9. Don't let him know you make stupid jokes and laugh at them.
10. Don't let on that you're so affectionately deprived that when he tries to hold your hand you'll be nervous and sweaty, but also gets butterflies like a school girl.
11. Don't let him see your TIVO list; it may be alarming to him.
12. Don't roll your eyes and give your patented one-eyebrow-raise when he declines your offer for ice water.
13. Don't, under ANY circumstances, let him know that your extremely protective family has done a thorough investigation on him, including background check. This fact, above all the others, will certainly have him heading for the hills.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

I can hardly believe that I am the mom to a 3 year old! I know its cliche, but the time just goes by too quickly. It seemes like he should still be this 8 lb 13 oz round baby boy!



Happy Birthday, Jack!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Man, I am really missing this wild animal, and the adorable soon-to-be 3 year old
holding him!






Friday, September 17, 2010

Dear {insert your name here if you've been affected by my rage}...Part 2

Dear "Divorce Education Class" Director-

Hi again, its Chelsea Johnson. You may remember me from our previous phone conversations? Yes, the crazed woman. And yes, those were actual sobs you were hearing. I just wanted to apologize for the tiny temper tantrum I threw. I know you weren't suspecting that at all, afterall, my voice was very sweet and serene in the 3 messages I left you the prior day. Who knew I could flip a switch like that?


The point of my letter is to apologize for my behavior and to thank you immensely for being so overly accomodating to me. I was as surprised as you were to learn the cause of the missing certificate. I am in no way trying to justify my behavior, but the last 8 months of my life have been less than ideal, and the information you provided me with on Tuesday may have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

However, I am happy to report that the moment your package arrives in my mail box, all sanity(fingers crossed!) will be restored, and I'll wrap my rage back up in a tiny little box and lovingly place it back on the shelf. That is, until the next poor, unsuspecting sucker crosses my path. Come to think of it, is that why they keep armed guards at the courthouse?


Deepest condolences-
Chelsea Johnson


P.S. There is a small support group of other innocent victims affected by my rage. You can read one of their stories
here, in case you're interested. And talk to my co-workers...they may know a story or seven.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The latest.....

Jack: "Can I have a drink?"


Me: "No."


Jack: "But why?" (in the whiniest voice possible)


Me: "#1-its bedtime."
"#2-you've already brushed your teeth."
"#3-you'll pee your pants tonight."



Jack: "But Mom, #1, I need a drink, cause my body is firsty."


Friday, August 20, 2010

So Long, Sweet Summer

The other morning as we left the house, I realized that summer was truly winding down. Jack proclaimed that it was cold outside, and I admittedly felt a nip in the air, too. It was 68. Believe me, that is cold for us.

I'm not terribly sad to see summer coming to an end this year. It just seems that everything we do right now is a new first. Our first summer alone. Our first family trip as a family of two instead of three.....the list goes on....

Despite the sadness and newness of it all, we have had a decent summer. Jack learned to pedal his trike, we visited the zoo and Bear Lake, and spent our days off cooling off at various splash pads around St George with our friends.

I'm already looking forward to fall with some hesitancy. Jack's birthday, followed by Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are sure to bring about a gamut of emotions. I'm sure with the help and love of our family and friends, we'll get through it, too!