Monday, September 12, 2011

"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you; it is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life."
-Harold B. Lee

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Lost and Found

I've been lost for a while.

Lost from the blogging world.
Lost from friends.
Lost from schedule and routine.
Lost from my identity.
Lost from meaningful relationships.
Lost from a lot of things.

The problem is, I didn't realize I was lost until I slowly started to find myself.

I moved{again}, and for the first time in 2 years, I am finally unpacking ALL of my belongings.
It was unpacking a box of necklaces{as silly as it seems}, when I had my "lost" realization.
At times it is fun and exciting to sort through treasures, decorations, clothes, pictures and memories.
And at other times, its a painstaking task.
Each box's contents are a reminder of my old life; one that was full of hope, wishes, goals and dreams of a future very different than the one that is currently playing out.
Its not that I'm not hopeful or don't have a wonderful, blessed life now, its just very different than where I thought I'd be.

Lucky for me, I've been taught that there is opposition in all things. I can be found again.

I realized in 'finding' myself, how much I have missed. I have truly missed keeping in touch with old friends and blogging. I miss who I think I used to be and the confidence I had and how I felt about myself. I miss being in a relationship and looking forward to seeing someone and feeling like someone loves and cares about me. The moment I saw the necklace, I was taken back to a different time, and I remembered the girl that wore it and how I used to be, and the way I used to feel. I want to find that girl again. It's going to take a lot of introspection, and a GIANT leap of faith.

Now I just have to convince myself that I'm up for the challenge!

P.S. Click here to see the cutest pre-schooler. Ever.