I've been lost for a while.
Lost from the blogging world.
Lost from friends.
Lost from schedule and routine.
Lost from my identity.
Lost from meaningful relationships.
Lost from a lot of things.
The problem is, I didn't realize I was lost until I slowly started to find myself.
I moved{again}, and for the first time in 2 years, I am finally unpacking ALL of my belongings.
It was unpacking a box of necklaces{as silly as it seems}, when I had my "lost" realization.
At times it is fun and exciting to sort through treasures, decorations, clothes, pictures and memories.
And at other times, its a painstaking task.
Each box's contents are a reminder of my old life; one that was full of hope, wishes, goals and dreams of a future very different than the one that is currently playing out.
Its not that I'm not hopeful or don't have a wonderful, blessed life now, its just very different than where I thought I'd be.
Lucky for me, I've been taught that there is opposition in all things. I can be found again.
I realized in 'finding' myself, how much I have missed. I have truly missed keeping in touch with old friends and blogging. I miss who I think I used to be and the confidence I had and how I felt about myself. I miss being in a relationship and looking forward to seeing someone and feeling like someone loves and cares about me. The moment I saw the necklace, I was taken back to a different time, and I remembered the girl that wore it and how I used to be, and the way I used to feel. I want to find that girl again. It's going to take a lot of introspection, and a GIANT leap of faith.
Now I just have to convince myself that I'm up for the challenge!
P.S. Click here to see the cutest pre-schooler. Ever.
7 comments:
Jack looked ADORABLE for preschool. And what a fun idea for his breakfast. You're such a fun mom.
Glad you found your way back to the blogging world. :) I've missed you and your witty writing. It was so fun seeing you at the store in Salt Lake. If only we could have talked longer.
Good luck on this newest adventure! Can't wait for the updates.
Ouch...tough words for the mother of the lost child to hear. Interesting thing is...I already know these things, as I can see this whole experience you are going through and know just how it is affecting you. I am, however, proud of the strength you have and the way you face each challenge. I pray for you constantly that the things you dreamed your life would be, will work out. They say time heals all wounds, but that is not exactly what takes care of the healing. You know what does. The thing you must remember is that, you are still on the same destination course you were always on....you have hit abut few bumps and had a detour, but your destination is still the same. Your course has not changed...you are still heading where you want to be eventually. Like I always say, "Chin up...chest out!" PS - you could use us a little more than you allow. We are always here for you! Love you, Mom
oh my, your post totally hit home. i feel the same way and didn't realize it until i read your post. things have been so crazy in my little world and i think it is time that i found a little bit of my old self to make myself and those i love happier! thanks for your post!!!
What a darling little pre-school boy you have! I am sure that he is loving it and doing amazing. No doubt that he has MANY things to say at school and at home all about his day.
I'm glad that you are slowly finding yourself...I'm just sorry that you are lost. All I know is that we are SOOOOOOO happy to have you here with us. There is no way I could happily (or somewhat happily) go to work each day if I didn't have you watching my precious baby. You are truly a blessing in our lives.
I am glad that of all the places you found yourself, it was much closer to all of us. I so enjoyed the times I got ot come see you in the sunshine and spend time with you in St.George BUT this is awesome. I love being able to see you on a more regular basis and seeing that Jack boy grow into such a handsome young lad. If I had half of the strength you have I could move some serious mountains. For now I will just have to feed off of some of your fuel. LOVE YOU!
I have to agree with Maggie. Thanks for your post! I hope it give me strength to find myself again too! For what it's worth - you are up for the challenge, you are one strong woman Chelsea. xo
I was so glad to see your post on my blog the other day, and knew that you were ok and back into blogging groove. I have missed you! I know how being lost feels and that it is a process to rediscover the real, true you that has really always been right here, just a little stressed out and frazzled. You are on the right course, 'just keep swimming' girl! love ya and that cute little Jack Johnson!
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