Wednesday, October 27, 2010

How To Lose A Guy In One Date.

Dating once you're divorced is somewhat different than back in the pre-marriage days.
Since I recently went on a date, and know a few other people in my position (old and single), I thought I'd offer some advice.
Its a dating-how-to, if you will. So in attempt to pay homage to my college roommates' and my FAVORITE movie, here are some pitfalls to avoid:

1. Don't assume he is African American, simply based on a facebook profile picture.

2. Don't let him know you were slightly disappointed that he was Caucasian.

3. Don't pick out a cute outfit to wear on the first date, only to have him call for an impromptu "pre-date", then end up wearing the same boots 2 dates in a row.

4. Don't give courtesy laughs at his jokes. He will surely call you out on it.

5. Don't neglect to tell him you have Bronchitis.

6. Don't cough on him the ENTIRE date.

7. Don't tell him you may have peed your pants a tiny bit when the chainsaw man cut off your legs at the haunted house.

8. Don't tell him the whole reason you didn't want to go to said attraction is that you had a
haunting suspicion you would probably pee your pants a tiny bit when chainsaw man cut off
your legs.

********haunting suspicion....haunted house....ha ha ha...*******
9. Don't let him know you make stupid jokes and laugh at them.
10. Don't let on that you're so affectionately deprived that when he tries to hold your hand you'll be nervous and sweaty, but also gets butterflies like a school girl.
11. Don't let him see your TIVO list; it may be alarming to him.
12. Don't roll your eyes and give your patented one-eyebrow-raise when he declines your offer for ice water.
13. Don't, under ANY circumstances, let him know that your extremely protective family has done a thorough investigation on him, including background check. This fact, above all the others, will certainly have him heading for the hills.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Happy Birthday Baby Boy!

I can hardly believe that I am the mom to a 3 year old! I know its cliche, but the time just goes by too quickly. It seemes like he should still be this 8 lb 13 oz round baby boy!

Happy Birthday, Jack!