Saturday January 22, 2011

"Hey Mom, things at the restaurant are going REALLY good today, huh?"

Jack has the best imagination ever. I love watching and hearing him play. Whenever we are watching TV or movies he insists that we both take on the roles of the characters. On Saturday we went to see Tangled, and halfway through the movie he leans over and informs me that I am Rapunzel and he is Flynn Rider. Despite the fact that he is a wild and crazy 3 year old, and I practically cry on a daily basis because I feel like he is so naughty and I am doing a poor job at being his mother, he continually surprises me with sweet, thoughtful things he does and says. He is very loveable and cuddly and is constantly showering me with hugs and kisses. On Sunday we had a bunch of people over for dinner, and in the middle of it all he says, "Mom, you look pretty today." I'm pretty sure everyone thought I had brain-washed him to say it, but he truly is a sweet little boy.

I worry constantly that the decisions of the past year will have detrimental impact on his life, and I pray everyday that I will know how to be a better parent to him and help him be able to have a great life. I think as parents we worry so much about our children, and it breaks my heart to think that my decisions will have such a negative effect on him and his upbringing.

I don't know how to have more faith right now. I feel like everyday I tell myself that I need more faith, more faith, more faith, but I don't know how to get it. I need more faith to know that I'm doing everything I can as a parent to provide and nurture. I need more faith to know and believe that I can and will be healed from the events of the past few years and be capable of being someone's partner again. I need faith to know that I will have a partner again. I need more faith to know that it will all work out.

I wish life was as simple as being a child, and imagining that you are someone else or in a different situation. It seems like life would be a little easier if I was Rapunzel and through a brilliant chain of events I let some prince charming rescue me. I wish "things at the restaurant were going really good today."

Jesus wants me for a SUN-BEEEAAAMMM...

That's right...you're looking at the newest sunbeam.

(Well, along with the 32 others in our ward)

Jack Boy

My poor Jack boy....

It's sometimes difficult being the man of the house...

So much pressure and responsibility....

I know he feels trapped.....

Like--he just wants to hide and escape from it all...

Lucky for him he's found some relaxing ways to wind down.....

Now if the weather would just warm up a bit we could REALLY enjoy ourselves

and our new Christmas toys....
Man, I love this boy.

Merry Christmas.

For the last 11 months I have been counting down the days of 2010 and praying the year would end quickly. I've had a terrible attitude about the upcoming holidays and truly wished this last one, painful month of 2010 would be over and I could have a new start and a better outlook for 2011.

In the last few weeks, all of that has changed.

I'm not sure what I've done to be worthy or deserving of the overwhelming acts of kindness, generosity and love that have been displayed toward Jack and I, and the outpouring of friendship that I have felt. All I do know is that the Spirit of Christmas is alive and burning in my heart and soul, and that the love of our Heavenly Father has me humbled beyond description.

The entire month of December has brought us one enormous blessing after another; the Heavens have truly been opened upon us, prayers have been answered and I have been brought to joyful tears on a daily basis.

I don't want this month to EVER end. (Or the year, for that matter.)

Even though at innumerable times throughout the year I thought that I simply could not survive one more day, I somehow managed to get through each day and felt the Comforter urging me on. My testimony and knowledge of His love for us were strengthened each time I felt His loving arms enfold me and remind me to have faith that things will be okay.

While I never in my wildest dreams could've predicated the trials and challenges that we've been faced with this year, I am grateful for the opportunity I've had to learn and grow and truly understand His plan for us.

I hope you've all managed to feel the Christmas Spirit like we have this holiday season. I'm so grateful for the birth of the Savior, and the opportunity this time of year gives us to reflect on His life, our own lives, and to reach out and serve others.

Merry Christmas!

Love, The Johnsons

December Festivities

Famous One-Liners.

Yesterday, Jack's daycare teacher recited this great one-liner to me that Jack exclaimed earlier in the day:

"My dad's not a grown-up, he's just old."

I. Have. Sinned.

I cheated on Black Friday.

THERE!! I said it.

I didn't mean to. It just happened. I was lonely.

Jack was gone and I thought it would be a good idea to scout out some Christmas presents without him. Then it happened, and before I knew it I had a cart full of goodies, NOT EVEN AT SALE PRICE!!! Isn't that just how it is? We think we're getting something good at the time, when the real prize was right there all along. Black Friday and those AMAZING deals are my real prize. Time to refocus all my efforts and wait patiently for Thanksgiving morning when the sweet aroma of turkey and freshly printed newspaper ads fill the house.

Ahhh, Black Friday!

There are countless moments in a mother's life when her child's behavior and accomplishments make her heart swell with pride.

Unfortunately for me, this is NOT one of them.