Friday, July 9, 2010

{Independence} Day

Lately, Jack is exhausting every effort at displaying his independence. He is insistent on doing things himself. Even when I try to tell him the correct way to do things, he vehemently disagrees and carries out his own actions. A lot of times it ends in bitter disappointment---for him and me too---when I'm left picking up the pieces of his failed attempts.
I mean, after all, he's my baby, and I'm his mommy, and I'm responsible for him and his well being and ensuring he is happy and taken care of and on and on.....

I can't possible sit idly and watch his best laid plans be foiled.

I attempt to sit(or stew, fret, stress, lose patience), I try to reason, explain, encourage, whatever you call it, and I suddenly acknowledge my own guilty role in demonstrating my independence and unwillingness to let people help me. My wrong choices and misfortunes become abundantly clear, and I realize the pain I, and those around me feel from it too.

(Yes, Mom, I finally see what you've been telling me.....)

I've realized, though, that being on my own is an opportunity for growth and a time to re-discover myself and who I want to become. I feel like the circumstances of the last few years, and even more so the last few months, have stifled me and put me under a cloud or fog.

My new found independence is helping to lift the fog and help me visualize the clear, beautiful picture of what I have to offer, and what life has to offer me. Somehow, it all becomes so apparent.

Independence is empowering. Let Freedom Ring.

16 comments:

Libby said...

First to comment again! Hurray!

You are such a good writer Chels. Do you realize that. I like this post. I love your attitude in it and I hope your new found independence is just what you were looking for! You certainly paid the price for it and now you deserve to enjoy it!

How is it so hard for us to get together? I must be the problem. I am lazy...really really lazy right now. Can't wait til Sunday!

The Richards family said...

Hey Chels it was so good to see you this weekend, thanks so much for helping out with the weedding!!

I love to read your blog, you really are a wonderful writer and make things so interesting!

Stevenson Stories said...

You are such a good writer. You say things just right and have this way of telling things (and you use big words). :)
This post says it all. You are so strong. Admired by many!

Billie Sue said...

I love your use of metaphors for this post! One would think you are an English major! Great post -- very enjoyable. I am trying to send the pictures, but my virus infected computer doesn't want to cooperate! Love you so much!

Kristen said...

The more I think about independence vs dependence I am so grateful for independence. Can you imagine raising a dependent child. Failure to launch come to mind. Jack is such a cute boy. Lucky he has a mom that buys him shoes that don't look completely obvious that they are on the wrong feet.

Giselle Rasheta said...

Chels, your blogging puts me to shame. I love your posts! I promise that I will get you some pictures emailed. I will go to mom's tomorrow and get it done!

I am happy for you that you are so wise and learning in your independence, but I do admit that I hope you depend on your momma and get up here! There's only one piece missing in our family puzzle... please?

Aimee & Brennen Fuller said...

You are an author at heart girl! I love reading your blog because not only do I like keeping connected but because you write so well. Seriously, I bet you have so many secret followers. But anyway, once again you write about "just what I needed" for the week. Thanks again. :)

Melinda said...

Love you Chels. So glad we ran into each other. It's been way too long. I've missed you. I hope we can see each other again soon.

jill said...

Chelsea,
Life is an interesting journey, you are so lucky to have such a wonderful little boy. Remember, don't sweat the small stuff..in a few years you will not remember.
Good luck,
momma Jill (Tasia's mom)
PS I can't believe all you girls are all grown up with beautiful kids!

The Gunnerson Family said...

Well, no one said that gaining independence was easy. In fact usually it comes with quite a few casualities. But, in the end the effort is worth it.

Love you two.

Pays said...

I love reading your blog and keeping up with you. Congratulations on your boards!!! That is so exciting! Jack is adorable and you are amazing... Beautiful pictures!

The Swindlehurst's said...

Can I just say how much I love your blog! You are the cutest ever!! I sometimes feel like I am a "ok" blogging but then I read yours and Im wondering if we could do some sort of a trade? You write my blog posts and I do your hair....Deal?? Cant wait to see you, I love talking to you!

The Swindlehurst's said...

PS Im so sorry that you were so sick! That is horrible, I wish I would have known I make some killer chicken noodle soup:)

Kati said...

awe. The independent stages of a child. Love to see my kids learn to do things on their own...but so hard to lose control of the way I want it to be done. I don't think that desire to control ever goes away as a parent...but I have learned it is important to let them do it on their own without interference. Perhaps one of the hardest things to do as a parent is to find the happy medium between helping and controlling.

Brittany said...

I think you've missed your calling in life....you should have been an author or journalist or something.:) I've been meaning to call you lately to see how you're doing. You have been through so much these last few months and I don't think I've been a very good friend.:(

Billie Jo said...

I don't know how to spell this and I am way to lazy (sick) to go look it up so I will phonetically spell it. TWO-SHAY, TWO-SHAY! I love all of your life lessons. We must stretch to grow!